Learning to Believe in Something Higher Than Yourself

Huddled around the old wooden table, the elderly man, his wife and two sons, bowed their heads in prayer. There was a somber feeling in the small room as he gave the blessing. A little candle was stuck in wax in the middle of the table and sputtered every now and then. The hearth behind them was ripe with red coals. The heat was very comforting. Pieces of stale bread were laying on the table. An old bible was placed on a piece of paper, its frayed and worn edges clearly showing. The old man lovingly picked it up and held it for a moment, then slowly put it down. The old woman, with her worn dark shawl wrapped loosely across her shoulders, waited until his hands were folded in his lap. She carefully dipped the ladle into the soup pot and poured one ladle full into each soup bowl. No one said anything. With the wind howling like a pack of wolves outside, and the snow feeling like wasp stings against your face, the cold chill just beginning to leave their tired bodies, they were trying to remain in a positive mood but it was difficult to keep despair from encompassing them all. It had been another cold, long and arduous day scrounging for food, finding wood for the fire and just plain surviving. In this country everyone was used to hard work and being paid something for their labor. But now, just waking up in the morning and knowing that the old ways had passed away and knowing what lay ahead, was becoming unbearable. How things had changed. There would have been complete silence except for the slow slurping of hot soup being consumed by hungry mouths. They tried not to think about tomorrow. Conversation was becoming a thing of the past. A little over two years ago things had been so different. The old man had a job in town, his sons were also employed and the family had plenty to eat. But a new political revolution had swept the country and a new wave of political ferver was sweeping the land. The new opposition party was doing away with the old even though the old hadn't been all that bad. They claimed they would be bringing in a better future for everyone. It was going to be different, this time. Everyone would be affected and better off, it was said. Although there was a wariness in the air there were also hopeful feelings. Would these new ideas work? Or would this be just another political experiment tried on a group of peasants? One question that couldn't or wouldn't be answered was why they were messing around with something that was working and working pretty well. There were never any answers to this but always the people kept asking questions. As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, things seemed to stay the same. But then the changes came, slowly and stealth like. It was almost as if one were viewing what was happening, in a dream state. When a bureaucrat changed something and made it harder on the people, it was always for the good of all. So, the people were told to accept it. It was frowned on to worship openly or even privately. Some of the neighbors had even experienced the military people knocking on their doors at all times of the day and night. Never before had there been any paperwork or regulations, or standing in long lines. But now, to purchase even the most basic of necessities it was mandated that one sign a piece of paper, pay with whatever they could, along with a certain percent of interest which kept going up, and then and only then would they be allowed to take that commodity home. The peoples' livestock had been rounded up, their small gardens were under the watchful eye of the new government and you couldn't get away from someone in uniform seemingly eyeballing you as you came and went. You were allowed so much food and other items and the new government had swallowed up all the jobs that the people had been doing. So what were they to do? What was the point of all of this? Again, many questions but no answers. So, the community became tighter. People were no longer looking on each neighbor as being distant, a sole individual, but as a whole. Soon they had all banded together in unison, seeking comfort, comaraderie and support. The family had finished eating. The old man reached for the book and opened to a piece of paper with faded writing. He started to read.. "Only for God wait thou in stillness, my soul; for from Him cometh my hope...; (Proverbs 62); "The hope of the righteous is gladness but the expectation of the wicked shall perish...; (Proverbs 10); "Why art thou cast down O my soul? and why moanest thou within me? Hope thou in God; for I shall yet praise Him for the salvation of His countenance...; (Psalm 42). His face lightened as he looked up at his wife and two sons. Tenderly closing the book he stared out the window, a look of contentment on his face. It lasted a short while. Shortly thereafter, the sound of chairs scraping across the floor was heard. The old man, increasingly bent over, shuffled toward the hearth and stirred the coals as his two sons watched in silence. He kept stirring and stirring, seemingly lost in thought until his one son called to him.. "Father, it is getting late and we must get some sleep". But he continued to ignore him and turned away, not wanting to hear what was said. "I know, I know", he muttered. After a few more moments, he slowly leaned the poker against the bricks, not wanting to let go of it. He didn't want to start the long trip up the stairs as he was so very tired. And he didn't want to face another tomorrow because tomorrow would be the same as today and yesterday. But he straightened himself up and finally moved toward the stairs. His two sons walked toward him and helped him as he grasped the railing. The old woman, watching with tears in her eyes, removed the bowls and the big soup pot from the table. She said not a word because it would have made no difference. They were all trapped. They had been used. They had been lied to. They had been told so many wonderful stories about how better everything would be but when the changes actually came, they were changes of remorse and sorrow. Everyone in the community felt the same. They were caught in a drama that was slowly sucking the lifeblood from them all. The only thing they had left was their faith in a just God that He would provide them with the courage to get through their ordeal. And their faith had grown stronger. Somehow, as the old man made his way up the stairs, tomorrow didn't look as bad as it did, just a few moments ago. It was time to blow out the candle and turn in. The wind was still howling; the stinging snow was still blowing furiously against the tiny cabin but all inside were safe and somehow more resolute. They had made it through this day and would make it through the next. All because of what they had learned...that it was faith in the midst of things unknown, that would always sustain them and see them through.